The Heuristic Squelch Dating Guide (a Berkeley publication) | |
| What They say: | What They mean: |
| "Did you come?" " | Because I didn't." |
| "I have something to tell you." | "Get tested." |
| "I'm a Romantic." | "I'm poor." |
| "I'll give you a call." | "I'd rather have my nipples torn off by wild dogs than see you again." |
| "I never meant to hurt you." | "I thought you weren't a virgin." |
| "Trust me." " | Let's just keep this between you and me, pumpkin." |
| "I love you." | "God, what have I gotten myself into?" |
| "I think we should just be friends." | "You're ugly." |
| "Havn't I seen you before?" | "Nice ass." |
| "I want to make love." | "I want to make love." |
| "Was it good for you?" | "I'm insecure about my manhood." |
| "We need to talk." | "I'm pregnant." |
| "I had a wonderful time last night." | "Who the hell are you?" |
| "I've been thinking a lot." | "You're not as attractive as when I was drunk." |
| "I've learned a lot from you." | "Next!" |
| "I want a commitment." | "I'm sick of masturbation." |
| "I think we should see other people." | "I have been seeing other people." |
| "Let's get married." " | Does that mean we can do it now?" |
| "We don't have to do anything until you are ready." | "Put out or get out." |
| "I feel its time to express our love for each other." | "Give me head." |
| "I still think about you." " | I miss the sex." |
| "Is there something wrong?" | "Is it supposed to be this soft?" |
| "You're so mature." | "I hope you're eighteen." |
| "Its never been like this before." | "Its my first time." |
| "Yes...Yes...(scream!)." | "Aren't you done yet?" |