‘Lude Lookin’ Good

Saturday I decided that since it was nice, why not wash the car. I didn’t want to just wash it though, I wanted to give it the full fred treatment. Since I got my car so many years ago I’ve been acculating a collection of car cleaning products, including mothers products, armor all, rim cleaner, tire cleaner, and the full works.

So noonish I wandered over to Cat5’s place, where there is far more room and a much better water/hose setup than we have here at the apartment building. Armed with beer and timbits, and a milk crate full of car cleaning stuff in the trunk, I intended to finish the inside and out.

Let me explain how the Mothers “system” works. It’s a cruel attempt by the corporation, or “The Man” as I like to call them, to convince little people that you need to use 18 or 20 different products to make your car clean, when in reality, you probably only need one (soap). Not only do they convince you to use these different products, but they convince you that unless you do it by hand the results will be crappy, so power buffers are out, and terry cloths are in. Not only that, but they try to make it so that their customers arms don’t work. See, each product is applied the same way, so you’re applying a product, letting it dry, and rubbing it off more than once.

And of course I bought into it.

Mothers has three “phases”, well, actually 3+1, as the first phase says the best way to apply it is on a freshly washed (using mothers california car wash) car. Washing isn’t so bad, I have one of those mitt things so it’s a bit easier on the arms. I washed her first, then applied Phase 1, an old wax remover (thankfully it only needs to be done once or twice a year). After this my arm was hurting pretty bad. Whenever I do a complete car wash it always starts out fine, the roof, the hood, no problem, but by the time I’m on the doors and quarter panels I’m cursing myself for not just buying a new car.

So phase one is on and Cat5 is working on his stuff but will help be able to help me out any minute now (uh huh). I took a break (one of several). Ahh…. golden happiness. Phase two (glaze and sealer) and three (wax) followed. By the time phase three was going on my arm was numb and I kept on having to stop and was making funny (though pathetic) grunting and whining noises almost constantly.

I finished the waxing and outside body around 5pm. My car was shiny from head to tail. Cat5 had his work complete and I decided to forget about doing the inside, much less anything more of the outside (ie: windows), and we headed to dinner.

Today I got up (with a sore right side of my body) and after some morning lazing around, did the rest. Vaccuum, windows inside and out, tires and rims, armor all over the inside, clean out the crap from the backseat and get the garbage out from under the seats, and was very pleased with the end result. More in gallery if you care.