I need to climb. Went to see Extreme today with Celt
at the IMAX in Richmond and it was gooooood (not enough climbing though).

I still need to get my shoes resoled too… maybe this weekend. After I get
my staples out tomorrow I’m going to start training my little heart out.
Training, running, weight lifting, climbing, climbing and more climbing. I’d
go to the local gym except for an incident that happened there a while ago…
I still am not sure if I should go back in there 🙂

Before I sleep, I’m going to echo a few thoughts. First of all, I’m not
really impressed with Jon Katz on slashdot,
but a couple of his recent articles, and the responses to them, hit me hard.
They can be seen here and here. They are
about the colorado horrors. Now, I definately don’t condone, approve, or in
anyway agree with what those kids did, but I can see how they were driven to
it. I was a loner in high school, I was picked on and made fun of and a lot
of times going home at the end of the day was the happiest part of it. Trying
not to be noticed too much, avoiding confrontation, avoiding eye contact and
emotion are all part of daily life for a geek in high school. Hell, not even
a geek but anyone who is different. A lot of the things that people have been
saying I’m going to echo here.

High school is not real life. It has it’s own social structure, it’s own
heirarchy of cliques. Like prision. And it’s very hard to bring attention to
wrongs that are done within the social structure to those on the outside.

High school ends. And I’m glad it did. I wasn’t as abused as a lot of people
seem to have been, and never got shoved in lockers, or beat up, but I was
still traumatized nonetheless, and my years at high school has had a huge
effect on the person I am today, for better or worse. But it does end. If
you are a geek in HS eventually you’ll go on to university or collge and be
around people who appreciate you for YOU, and are mature, intelligent and don’t
make fun of you or resent you for your intelligence or way of dressing and
acting. And where will your tormenters be? Flipping burgers or selling
cars, and remembering back to their high school days and thinking they were
the best they’ve ever had. Eventually we (the proud, the geek) will go on to
change the world, and I know my best years are still ahead.

I am not saying that the Colorado murderers were not fucked in the head.
Anyone who did what they did is. But I can see how they could do it. I
thought about how good it would be to see Mike Page pressed up against a wall
and begging for his life, instead of tormenting me. Or Dillon. Or Brandon.
Or the other jocks. I’d never do it, don’t get me wrong, but I certainly
thought about it.

The way that teachers and those who run the educational institutions seem to
be dealing with things (searching people who make threats, hassling those who
wear trench coats, sending people to counciling etc), are SCREWED. Read my lips, persecuting the alienated is NOT the answer. These people feel persecuted
alienated enough already, and this is not the answer. Those not in school
don’t understand what it is like inside. Hell, I don’t remember, it’s been a
while (6 years or so), but I remember enough to know that this is not the way.
Copycat’s, hitler worship, violent video games, the internet, the evil
internet, the porn, doom, quake, email, newsgroups. There is a lot that was
wacked with these guys, but jumping on the net, and games is witch hunting.
Geeks and outcasts use the net for communication and a feeling of community.
On the net it doesn’t matter that you are a pimply faced, bespecticaled loser,
you could be the webmaster, a contributor to /., a programmer for a really
cool mod or game. You can be anything. Cutting kids off of the net is not
the answer.

Yes, the ones in colorado probably used the net to get information on bombs,
guns, communicating their ideas etc, but hell, I’ve had the anarchist’s
handbook since my early days of bbsing 8 years ago. I get really angry when I
hear that the net is where someone got the information on how to build bombs
when someone blows up a school or building. Don’t ask where
they got the information (as anyone who is resourceful can find any
information they want), ask why they used it.

Ok, enough ranting. Time for bed.