Twisters is a Dumb Movie

Twisters is the perfect movie to put on while you’re on the treadmill or rowing machine at 6am and just need to turn your brain off so you don’t have to think about the pain racking your body and the sweat pooling in your buttcrack. It isn’t a smart movie though. The original wasn’t some grand work of cinema by any means, but it was fun and dumb. This one is a bit more dumb and fun.

Warning, spoilers ahead (minor, let’s be honest you basically know what the movie will be from the trailer, poster, or the first 5 minutes). To that end, watch the trailer below.

I don’t have the mental capacity right now for a real review (almost 11pm on a Sunday night before my alarm goes off at 6:15am tomorrow morning), or as real as any review I write, so here are a few points on why and how this is a dumb movie.

  • Hurricanes in this world let you fly a drone up to them and drive a truck up to them and park with only a couple of auger things going into the ground without affecting you too much.
  • They will also pick up people and vehicles from far away and suck them up, never to be seen again.
  • Why are storm chasing people (one a bunch of youtube streaming influencer types, the other a group doing scientific research (but also evil)) competing with each other? It’s not a zero sum game, the storm isn’t won if you get there first.
  • Why do people live in a place where it seems like every few days a storm comes through and destroys your town, sucks up what I assume are 10s of people, and destroys everything you own.
  • People in these towns also seem to not notice giant hurricanes until they’re a couple of kilometres away from their baseball game in the park, or rodeo.
  • These people, living in a town where every few days everything is destroyed don’t seem to have storm shelters built when they rebuild everything (again, probably every few days)
  • Main characters who are attractive always fall in love by the halfway point in the movie, in this case going from “I hate you and your crew they’re horrible people” to “sure I’ll have a pizza with you and talk about helping the world” with a turn that gave me whiplash.

I enjoyed it enough to watch it and not turn it off, but going in knowing it’s best to turn your brain off.