I wanted to start this by saying “yay! no more weird and screwed up dreams
lately!” But last night I had another one. I was a member of the Enterprise
(Star Trek: The Next Generation) crew and good ol’ Captain Picard was being
held for ransom. Or we got taken over or something and it was up to me and
Riker to save the day. Or something. I told you it was screwed up.

Worldly news. The “So you want to marry an multi-millionaire” thing that Fox
did is turning into a pr nightmare and was, for those involved, a complete
waste and a “man was I stupid” experience. I’m so shocked. When the hell
will people become fascinated in something other that this crap. It seems
like everything has to be bigger and faster and costlier and gorier to even
grab people’s attention these days. 90 years ago seeing a girls bare ankles
was enough to give men heart attacks. It was the sort of thing that you
talked about in hushed voices with your friends late in the night, saying that
yes, you did see the entire ankle. Now you have channel 39
displaying what can be best described as soft porn (labeled as foreign films
and “artsy” of course) at 11pm and re-runs of Worlds Wildest and Bloodiest
X-Rated Commercials XIV competing with wrestlers finding new and interesting
ways to pretend to wreck havoc on each other in the WWF on channel 14. No
wonder the kids of today are so screwed up. I think when I have kids I’m
going to move with my wife to the middle of nowhere in the interior of the NWT
and ensure there is no electricity, cable, phone, or net connection. My kids
will be amused by rocks and games involving pieces of string and they will
never hang each other and tell me that they saw it on Fox’s World’s Wildest
Police Sting Operations XXVII.

I’m finding that lately I’m not bothering to verbalize. I think maybe it’s my brain
not telling my mouth how to say something fast enough because it’s working on
other things. A couple of times I’ve used terms like “that thing that time” or “go to
whereeverthatwasthatwewentthelasttime” or even “get that stuff done” “what
stuff” “the stuff on the thing”. I could stop for a second and
figure out what I’m really saying, but in my desire to get the information out
as quickly as possible I don’t bother. And hey, if the people don’t
understand the first time and have to ask again I just look up with a
dissapointed look, sigh, roll my eyes and slowly enuniciate what I probably
should have said the first time.

You know, sometimes I feel like I’d like to just remove myself from the human
race. Not life or anything, this isn’t a suicide note or
anything, I just think that I could deal with being away from all the
people. I think 4 weeks would do quite nicely.

  • Week 1 – Recovery. recovery from life, people, work etc. Not
    that any of these things are bad, but hey, recovery is recovery. I think
    I’d spend it locked in a room sleeping. Not near a computer, phone, fax,
    pager, cell, palm pilot, task manager, or answering machine. Yes, a week
    to sleep.
  • Week 2 – Stuff. Getting all the things I haven’t
    had the opportunity to do lately. Write to friends and family, work on
    websites (mental note: charge realtor people for their website) (mental
    note: done now) of mine that are outdated or need to be redone, clean up
    my mp3s, gfx, html, all that stuff. Start on some of the neat things I
    want to write (via code and not). Note that I haven’t yet gone outside or
    gotten dressed yet. That comes in week 3.
  • Week 3 – Face time. Maybe. Spend time with family
    and friends, hanging out with people who probably think I’ve forgotten
    about them, travelling around various places. If I win the lottery this’ll
    include visiting friends in places like Austrialia, family in England, and
    a grand tour of Spuzzum (go on zoom out I dare ya!).
  • Week 4 Reverse recovery… basically a week of mental
    preparation to go back into the world from my hiadus. Or however you
    spell it.