08/18/2000

Well, the day (Friday) is almost over and I’m back from LWE. I actually got
back on Wednesday and just have been a slacker (still) about updating.
However, you can read all about my adventures here.


I’m about to head out to Cat5’s place for 26 hours of pure Red Dwarf. I can’t wait… it’s been a
while since I’ve experimented in sleep depravation.


Anyway, from the show I bring back these little nuggets of wisdom (actually
from sitting around and thinking randomly while shaving, but that’s not the
point is it?):



  • Never bitch about a ex-employer, ex-friend or ex-girl/boyfriend while
    in the presence of potential or current employers, friends, or
    girl/boyfriends. Doing this will make them wonder what you will say about
    them when you leave.
  • Become good at footrubs.
  • Try not to stress out if you’re stuck in traffic and could be late
    for something, it’s out of your hands dude, deal with it. If you speed
    twist and turn you might get there 5 minutes sooner if you’re lucky, so
    just deal with it (unless of course you’re stuck behind someone going 20
    under the speed limit, in that case go around him at 40 over, horn going
    and finger engaged).
  • Try try try for the love of $DEITY to be ready to go when people are
    waiting for you (<sexist stereotypical remark>women take
    note</sexist stereotypical remark>)
  • Always know where your towel is.
  • Speak softly and carry a chainsaw.
  • Adorn your computer with anti-bogon deflectors
  • When propositioning a member of the opposite sex, find out
    first if they are already hitched or not.
  • Practice your Jedi Mind Tricks
  • When going through the doors at the supermarket (the one with the
    pressure pads on them) wave your hand just as you step on them, this will
    make it appear that they are opening to your power (see previous comment
    about Jedi Mind Tricks)


And one final thought…. over the door of the local Save On Foods there is a
sign: “Enter the Excitement”…. WHAT THE HELL IS SO EXCITING ABOUT
FOOD SHOPPING!?!?!??


Remind me to rant about crowded supermarkets and droves of idiots sometime k?

Scroll to Top