Male Bonding and Evasion Techniques

I was referred to in my dear friend Iambe’s column today as hunka hunka burning butt. I’m honored.

And yes, men will stubbornly stick together even in the face of the most logical of logic. If another guy is there then we have one other person to come up with plausible explanations for whatever we are being accused of (wrongly of course), so that while one is talking the other can be thinking around the next question. However, when alone, and faced with a determined female, we often crumble faster than you can say “foo”. The smart ones will say something “hey, what’s that?”, point over her shoulder and run in the other direction as fast as they can. This technique is especially useful when encountering such questions as “am I getting fat?” “does this dress look ok?” “Hows my hair?” or the like.

4 Comments on “Male Bonding and Evasion Techniques”

  1. Brad – this is true, as the correct answer always changes. As I understand it though, there is no correct answer to the “am I getting fat” question.

  2. You hit it right on the head. Guys need to travel in packs so they can evade any questions from the female sex. And just so you know the “why what’s that over there” and run ploy only works if the female is slower then you.

  3. A word of warning: Running is not a good defense for “am I getting fat?” or related questions. The only safe response is “No. Of course not.” You may need to practice this to avoid that fleeting look of panic. Any hestitation, or worse, running, is taken in the most negative way possible, and when she catches you there will be trouble unless you are carrying a massive bouquet. Disclaimer: Flowers may not always be the answer either. Sometimes the answer is choclate, ice cream, or something else entirely. Good luck.