An Open Letter to the Asshole with the Car Alarm

Dear Asshole

I realize how fun it is to have new toys, and how much you must enjoy having the knowledge that your collection of illegal pornography or Calgary Flames bobbleheads is now safe from the roving street gangs that frequent this part of Abbotsford. I too have had new toys, both electronic and not, and do enjoy the pride and ego boost that they give you.

However, constantly clicking your car alarm on and off, no doubt in an effort to hear that reassuringly loud “beep…. beep beep!” noise, does not increase your standing in the community. In fact, people such as myself, could be said to be starting to dislike you more and more, even though I haven’t met you, because of your tendancy to arm and/or disarm your car alarm at all hours of the night. Sadly some of us do like to sleep, and those who are up in the late hours working to provide for our families, feel the need to concentrate. As I’m sure you’ll appreciate, your car alarm noises don’t help this. Think of a baseball bat hitting your kneecaps in the middle of a sound sleep, it’s that sort of thing, you know.

In short, you are being a fucktard. Please stop it. Now.


Alan, your friendly neighbor on the second floor.

5 Comments on “An Open Letter to the Asshole with the Car Alarm”

  1. yeah.. I’ve thought that many times. Mostly when some asswipe is driving by slowly at 2 am with his subwoofer cranked so loud you can feel it in your gut In your house.
    Either that or a rocket launcher.

  2. Apparantly the ‘fucktard’ didn’t read his owner’s manual, to know how to turn off the beep, so it just flashes the headlights.