06/18/99

2am

No strange dreams last night. Course, I only had 3 or 4 hours to sleep in, so
that is to be expected I suppose. The last week has had me going to bed
around 3 or 4am… not good I know, but it seems that my ‘just one more check
of email’ or ‘just finish this letter’ turns into a long drawn out (but
enjoyable, or I wouldn’t do it) process.


I was cleaning my desk tonight looking for some notes with which to do some
more writing with. I found a bunch of stuff I
had to add to my “Stuff to Pay when I have Money” pile. Car insurance…
photo radar ticket… cell phone bill… ick ick ick!
My desk is far cleaner now, my microphone has surfaced again, and my Tux and
Penguin (with a heart saying “Love Stinks”) have a clean place to sit on my
desk.


Keth is enjoying her visit I think. She went horseback riding with Illiad and
Celt yesturday (well, wednesday) and had an absolute blast. She was
sore as hell after though (heheheheh). I had to work so missed out on the
horse fun, but next time I’ll go! I have to become a horseriding god as soon
as I become a rollerblading god you see. Anyway, we vegged today, and didn’t
leave the house much. Well, I worked all day (and wrote some great code for
our console interface to our dynamic firewall generator) and she irced and
surfed from the couch. Of course, this is a holiday, and that’s what you are
supposed to do!


Tomorrow night is the birthday party of the Son of God over at Iambe’s
place. Should be a good time, a combo LAN party and normal party. I’m not
sure how I’ll fit in there… while I like people and all, I also like LANing,
and I’m not sure which half of the house I’ll be in. I have a feeling it
might be in the LAN party room, hanging with 2 or 3 other geeks. Darren of
course has to be the social butterfly, it being his birthday and all. He
should have fun though.


I hope this is better than the last party I went to. It was last saturday at
a friend from high school’s place. I took a friend of a friend there, and
when I picked her up she gave me a big kiss on the lips and said “I am SO
drunk”. I figured this was ok as she’d be ahead of the game and not need to
drink at the party to have a good time and could just relax and have fun. 5
min later she puked all down the outside of the car. 5 min later she did the
same thing again, each time appologizing (lucky she got her head out the
window) and saying she was ok and still wanted to go to the party. We stopped
at a gas station and she cleaned herself up and I hosed down my poor car. We
headed out again toward maple ridge, party bound. 5 min later she asked me to
pull over and spent the next 20 min (!!) with her head hanging out the open
door puking her guts out. Ya, drinking is cool…. really. After she fell
asleep kinda I took her home. Yea, fun fun fun. When I finally made it said
party it seems that everyone knew about it, and I helped Jason keep people
away who were looking for trouble or who weren’t invited. Course, that meant
I got to hang out at the end of the driveway with the 4 or 5 people I knew
there. It was a huge party too, a DJ, tarps and couchs and a really great set
up, and lots of people. I had a good time.


When I told my non-high school friends about this they sort of scoffed and
said I would have had a much better time if I had stayed at the previous engagement I was at
(which was fun I admit). However, this was a different type of thing. This
was my need to go out and be a carefree high school kid again. To let go the
social encomberances I had found in my “grown up” life and to just let go in a
way that is hard to do around adults (sounds kinda strange huh?). In a way it
was me revisiting another lifestyle that I used to live, and in a way still
live. I have a grownup life and attitude I hold around people who are
important, the boss, the cartoonist, the cartoonist’s people… I have my own
life, my private life where I sit in front of a computer at 2am, typing my
thoughts onto a page somewhere in the Internet, or sitting in front of a pad
of paper waiting for words to come to me. And I have my old life, my life
from high school, where you greet people with a “hey dude, how the fuck are
you, you still doing that chick I saw you with last month” and you don’t care
if you get drunk and knock your beer into the gravel.


We all have these lives I think whether we admit it or not. Some have more,
some have less, some have more diverse and more closely knit lives than
others, but we all have them, separate them, and get them all to grow in their
own ways. It is because of this that makes us who we are. These different
realities we live in each contribute to some part of what we call “us” (well,
I would call it “me” but you know what I mean).


Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to introduce the part of me that wants to
sleep in a warm bed for the next 6.5 hours.


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