Well, I’m sure the morning news from Washington (the one out here) will show it differently, but I have some results from the Govererns debate for you here. Why the hell are you watching that crap you may ask? Well, the answer probably won’t surprise you.
I’m a cynic.
The only reason I’m watching a debate between two people that will have approximatly 0% affect on me is the same reason I watch political ads. I think all polititians are crooks, liers and backstabbers, and the ads that they put on TV show me I’m right đŸ™‚
The contestants (cause you know that that is what they really are): Gov. Locke and Gov. Carlson.
The results:
| Amount of the two minutes of opening statements spent slamming their opponent: |
50% |
| Amount of time responding to the actual question asked during the question period: |
20% |
| Approximate amount of time spent looking at the person to whom you are responding: |
10s |
| % of relevance in answer to question: |
.3% |
| Amount of time the responses sounded scripted and human. |
5% |
| Number of times the phrase “We are number one in going from welfare to work” was sputtered out by Locke. |
15 in the first half hour |
| Amount of the 30s rebuttle time spent slamming their opponent. |
29.942s |
| Amount of moving blame to previous governments, Washington (the other one, where things actually matter), or other factors. |
Any time something bad or insufficient about them is pointed out. |
| “The issue is very complex.” |
Hurl |
| References to “Initiatives” or “Plans”. |
Far too many. |
| % Bullshit in answers |
99.9999999999999999999999999999% |
| Amount of time spent refering to their opponent in the 3rd person (“What Mr. Locke thinks…” “It appears that Mr. Carlson believes…”): |
100% |
| Time spent not looking like they have a pole stuck up their ass while the camera is not directly on them. |
Nope. |
| “Coincidental” and “relevant, really it is” stories reminding everyone he’s a pastor and is a good God-Fearing Man. |
1 by Mr. Carlson. (I’m guessing that this means he stepped in a church once) |
| Smarmy remarks to their opponent (“Wow Mr. Locke, you’re supporting recommendations and they haven’t even come out”). |
Lots |
| Reminding the public that if the vote the other one they’ll wait another 4 years to see any action. |
48 |
| Displays of lack of knowledge of BC geography. |
3 |
| Corrections of “mis-statements, which I don’t believe were unintentional” (“that mean man lied about me daddy!”) |
12 |
| Amount of backtracking as to what they are supporting versus what they are saying (or at least according to their opponent) |
87% |
| References to an “esctatic press release” (WTF???) |
1 |
| Amount of 2m time spent slamming their opponent in their closing statements: |
1:55 |