An email actually sent to the Tetley Tea via their feedback form.
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To: The Tetley Teabag Folks
From: Alan
Subject: Needing your urgent attention
To whom it may concen…
While I am not a tetley tea drinker, I do have idea for a new product that you
could sell. I am requiring a duvet from you.
I have been living on my own for almost seven years now, and as a college
student, and someone with not a lot of extra funds for frivilous things, there
are many things in my life which do not change much. One of these is my
bedding. While I do wash and dry them at least once a year, the bedding itself,
that being a mattress hugging sheet and a duvet, have not been replaced over the
years, or even swapped out over summer or winter. It is due to this that I come
by this dilema.
As I have had the same sleeping arrangements for so long, my body has become
accustomed to having not only the weight of the duvet on top of me. It is
because of this that I cannot comfortably fall asleep (at least in my own
bed) without this weight. Every night, be it summer or winter I am under
the same duvet. However, during hot summers such as the one we are experiencing
now, this makes it quite hot.
You see, on nights like tonight I need two things: the comforting and familiar weight
of my queen sized duvet on top of me and a light and airy covering.
One could argue that I could pull myself out from under the covers partially,
while still having them over top of me, but tonight in particular it is too cold
to do that, and it seems I am in a freeze or boil situation.
Originally I was going to go to my mother, who has gotten in a habit of
tampering with nature, to see if she could cross-bread a duck with something
along the lines of those styrofoam peanuts to create a filling for the duvet
that is lighter and airier than the common duck or goose down. My mother
however, only tampers with the natures of vegetables such as gourdes and
zuccinis, and I don’t know how cross-breading one of those with a duck would
turn out!
On that note I thought of you. I have seen many of your ads about your tea bags
and their marvelous properties, and thought you would be the perfect people to
design the next generation duvet. I see now that it is not the insides that are
to blame, but the outside covering, which is really just a large version of your
teabags!
This matter urgently needs your attention, as unless we act soon it will be too
late to complete prototyping and testing by next summer. Please contact me
at your earliest convenience about how we may start this process.
Kindest Regards,
Alan.