An email actually sent to the Tetley Tea via their feedback form [archive.org link].
To: The Tetley Teabag Folks [archive.org link]
From: Alan
Subject: Needing your urgent attention
To whom it may concen...
While I am not a tetley tea drinker, I do have idea for a new product that you could sell. I am requiring a duvet from you.
I have been living on my own for almost seven years now, and as a college student, and someone with not a lot of extra funds for frivilous things, there are many things in my life which do not change much. One of these is my bedding. While I do wash and dry them at least once a year, the bedding itself, that being a mattress hugging sheet and a duvet, have not been replaced over the years, or even swapped out over summer or winter. It is due to this that I come by this dilema.
As I have had the same sleeping arrangements for so long, my body has become accustomed to having not only the weight of the duvet on top of me. It is because of this that I cannot comfortably fall asleep (at least in my own bed) without this weight. Every night, be it summer or winter I am under the same duvet. However, during hot summers such as the one we are experiencing now, this makes it quite hot.
You see, on nights like tonight I need two things: the comforting and familiar weight of my queen sized duvet on top of me and a light and airy covering.
One could argue that I could pull myself out from under the covers partially, while still having them over top of me, but tonight in particular it is too cold to do that, and it seems I am in a freeze or boil situation.
Originally I was going to go to my mother, who has gotten in a habit of tampering with nature, to see if she could cross-bread a duck with something along the lines of those styrofoam peanuts to create a filling for the duvet that is lighter and airier than the common duck or goose down. My mother however, only tampers with the natures of vegetables such as gourdes and zuccinis, and I don't know how cross-breading one of those with a duck would turn out!
On that note I thought of you. I have seen many of your ads about your tea bags and their marvelous properties, and thought you would be the perfect people to design the next generation duvet. I see now that it is not the insides that are to blame, but the outside covering, which is really just a large version of your teabags!
This matter urgently needs your attention, as unless we act soon it will be too late to complete prototyping and testing by next summer. Please contact me at your earliest convenience about how we may start this process.
Kindest Regards,
Alan.