Just got back from the birthday party of a good buddy of mine, Sean. Firefly wasn’t feeling all that good so it was just me who headed out to Roosters Country Cabaret in Maple Ridge to party it up. Man, I’ve been out of the club/bar scene for a long time… well, I was never really in it. It was ok though, I didn’t know any of the people that were there except for one guy, and I was introduced I still am never good at socializing with people that I have nothing in common with.
I was able to witness a few things that I never have before though. I’ve grown up listening to country but this is only the second time I’ve been to a country bar. A few of the things I got to see were the wide mix of people…. roughly:
- 40% of the females were wearing the hip hugger “you can see the crack of my ass” jeans that are popular nowadays. Some really shouldn’t have been mind you. I think that women are just catching up to a fashion statement that has been made by plumbers and handymen for years.
- 10% of the females were doing their best to show as much skin as possible
- 5% were showing more skin than needed
- 15% were dressed in some kind of cowgirl getup
- 2% of the guys were the steroid-using looking types
- 18% were in some sort of cowboy getup, a hat, a shirt, or both
- 7% of these were wearing cowboy shirts that looked like they still had pins in them they were that crisp looking. They didn’t really even look like they were for real. The shirts they were wearing had big “Dodge” or “[some brand] Boots” in large letters on the backs and / or arms, making them look like they should have been at a cowboy clothing fashion show or something.
- There was the 1% complete freaks that are always at the bar
- 2% super tall guys with super short girlfriends
- 4% were those old scraggly people that you always see and wonder what they are doing there
- 2% were the old people that were trying to dress in the same fashions as the rest of the younger crowd
- Hey, the numbers don’t add up! Who cares. The rest were normal average looking people
I also was witness to my first ever line dance. It went something like this: Take 7 people who are awsome at line dancing and know exactly what they are doing. Put them in the middle of 100 other people who are in varying states of inebriation, with about as much skill line dancing as a row of eppileptic cockroaches. Line them all up and let them go to it. While this not-quite-a-dance is going on get some people who are really good at “normal” dancing and have them bounce around the dance floor interrupting the line dancers. Mix in some more of these normal dancers swinging each around who are hugely less skilled at not bowing other people over while they are being whipped around.
There was live music though, Ken McCoy was very good, and it was great to listen to a live country band playing everything from Garth Brooks’ hits to “Copperhead Road”.