Ways to Modify My Body

I’m really not into body modification by any means, but if asked, there are two things I’d do to change the body that is (as of yet) as pure and clean as the day I was born. Well, ignoring a few scars and the lack of a gall bladder.


  • Laser eye surgery. I’d love to be able to see without glasses or contacts, be able to wake up in the morning and see the clock without squinting, swim, scubadive, and climb without having to worry about seeing or having something on my face or in my eyes to help me see. This is prompted by talking to Shawna at my 10 year grad reunion this weekend (more on this later) who had her eyes done in December. I’ve been sort of waiting for things to get better and better before committing my eyeballs to some crazy bastard with a laser beam, but like she said “I’m not the first person to get it done and I’m not going to be the last one.”
  • A tattoo. The only one I can think of that’d be cool and “me” (in more than one way) would be the bird logo for Arc’teryx, the climbing company on which my online nick is based on. Probably on my left or right shoulder or biceps.


    Danger with this of course is twofold: from what I’ve heard the tattooed folk are like those with cats, you can’t have just one; the other being that if Arc’teryx is involved in some major mishap having their logo permenantly tattooed on my body may not be desirable. I’m sure there are a few big Enron supporters who headed to the plastic surgen to get their tattoos removed 🙂 Another cool one would be the mark of a roman general (like dude had in Gladiator), but that’d be saying a bit too much about how cool I am, like the fucktards that have bullet hole stickers on their cars.


    Apparently Arc’teryx will give you a harness if you come in and show them a tattoo of their logo, which is cool, but I have a relatively new Petzl harness.

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10 Comments on “Ways to Modify My Body”

  1. I’m lusting after Laser Eye Surgery too, but I’ve had a similar prognosis as you… “we can correct you pretty well but you’ll probably still need some kind of correction.” tho if I can see to shave my legs in the shower, and to see the clock at night, well heck I probably wouldn’t complain much. But I’m going to wait as well.
    As for the tattoo thing… I’m really happy with mine. I toyed with the idea for a really long time, and I waited until I found something that really meant something to me. If you want a tat, I’d say go for it, but wait until you find something that REALLY has meaning for you, not just something you kind of like.
    And as for the “you can’t have just one”.. to that I say BAH 🙂 No matter what Lisa says, I’m sticking with one, I do believe. I found something else I’d love to have, but I’d want it as a full back piece, and it doesn’t go with the rose I already have (the link on my name goes to the picture) 🙂 Ah well! One is plenty.

  2. You could always go and pierce your ears… 😉 Now that I’m used to them, I really like my silver celtic hoops. 🙂

  3. Actually I’ve never had any desire for pierced ears. Maybe a hold over thinking that it’s only for girls or some deep repressed memory or something, but it’s just no something I would do.

  4. You aren’t into body modification but you want a tattoo? umm… dude, no offense, but that is like the classic mody modification.
    I am TOTALLY not one to get any body modiciations, but eye surgery would be cool. I think that for me, it really isn’t bad if you are just going to a state that you would normally have if I weren’t genetically or environmentally “damaged.”
    So while I can justify surgery to get rid of a problem, or lasers ripping off my cornea to make my vision better, I just don’t see where a strange mark that says, “Mom” will just naturally appear on my arm.
    But then again, I’m weird that way; seems like tribalism and scarrification is coming back in a big way.

  5. ” I’m really not into body modification by any means, but if asked…”
    Note the “if” part 🙂 While a tattoo is a BM it’s probably the second tamest (next to piercing) you can get, where on the other end of the spectrum you have to really strange shit going on. Lets just say I wouldn’t recommend searching for and looking any sites that talk about BM at work based on what I’ve been shown in the past 🙂

  6. I dunno Arc, I think you’d look mega spiffy with pierced ears 😉

  7. Ya… with pierced ears you would look… well…. like…. Mr. Clean. (if you work the biceps a bit more 😛 )

  9. I’ve actually been looking at laser surgery also, but am still unsure of it’s relative safety and side effects. That and I have this image of me regaining consciousness and the doctor saying: “Ya know, chicks dig eye patches.”
    As for tatoos, why not a giant Microsoft logo on your back that says “Bill owns j00!” at the bottom? ;-p

  10. She was saying that the doc talked her through each second of the procedure (which lasts about 6 minutes) and everything he said (“it’ll go dark for a few seconds now”, “you’ll feel like you have an eyelash in your eye”) was right on cue. She was up and about in a couple of hours, though very sensitive to light. About a week to get back to 100% I think she said.
    I’m not worried that much about the safety of the procedure, but the effectivness of it. My eyes are bad, like -7 or something like that, and I’d really love to get to 20/20 (or better <g>), and from what I hear they can’t guarentee 20/20 vision, and while I’d probably not have to wear glasses (they gave me about 90% sure they’d get me to 20/20ish I think) I really don’t want to spend $2000-3000 to still have to wear glasses for reading or driving. Hence, wait a bit longer, see how much better the tech gets. Shawna had something like -4 or -5 though, and from what she was saying she had no complaints.
    Of course, nothing is really lost by delaying another few months, or years. If you are interested, stop by the Valley Laser Eye clinic (the one run by John Blaylock (sp?)) in Seven Oaks mall (upstairs). They have free consultations where they test you, give you an idea on how the procedure will go, how good your vision will probably get to, costs, etc. They aren’t the cheapest place around, but getting a free exam and a person to ask questions to is a good thing I think. Of course, I’d rather pay more for this sort of thing 🙂 Going to “Bobs Bargin Laser Eye Surgery” would NOT be an option 🙂