Ways to Modify My Body

I’m really not into body modification by any means, but if asked, there are two things I’d do to change the body that is (as of yet) as pure and clean as the day I was born. Well, ignoring a few scars and the lack of a gall bladder.


  • Laser eye surgery. I’d love to be able to see without glasses or contacts, be able to wake up in the morning and see the clock without squinting, swim, scubadive, and climb without having to worry about seeing or having something on my face or in my eyes to help me see. This is prompted by talking to Shawna at my 10 year grad reunion this weekend (more on this later) who had her eyes done in December. I’ve been sort of waiting for things to get better and better before committing my eyeballs to some crazy bastard with a laser beam, but like she said “I’m not the first person to get it done and I’m not going to be the last one.”
  • A tattoo. The only one I can think of that’d be cool and “me” (in more than one way) would be the bird logo for Arc’teryx, the climbing company on which my online nick is based on. Probably on my left or right shoulder or biceps.


    Danger with this of course is twofold: from what I’ve heard the tattooed folk are like those with cats, you can’t have just one; the other being that if Arc’teryx is involved in some major mishap having their logo permenantly tattooed on my body may not be desirable. I’m sure there are a few big Enron supporters who headed to the plastic surgen to get their tattoos removed 🙂 Another cool one would be the mark of a roman general (like dude had in Gladiator), but that’d be saying a bit too much about how cool I am, like the fucktards that have bullet hole stickers on their cars.


    Apparently Arc’teryx will give you a harness if you come in and show them a tattoo of their logo, which is cool, but I have a relatively new Petzl harness.