Passed on to me from my buddy Brian.
You might live in Abbotsford if…
- You aren’t sure whether marijuana is legal or not.
- You can swear in Punjabi, English and Mennonite (Darnit!)
- You’ve hunted mailboxes
- You see a gas station on every corner.
- You see a church on every corner.
- You see a grow-op on every corner.
- Five degrees is really cold and twenty is really hot.
- Rain is a part of daily life.
- You secretly have a firm stance on the great Blueberry Cannon Debate.
- You don’t get excited about Christmas lights anymore because people keep them up all year round.
- Your town’s automall is bigger than the actual mall.
- You don’t think seven hockey arenas is enough.
- Your town has had 2 mayors ever.
- Your current mayor is an octogenarian.
- You know when the Diwali festival is.
- You know when the Berry Festival is.
- You’ve grown accustomed to the smell of cow manure in the morning.
- Going to Vancouver is a long day trip.
- You use the Trans-Canada highway to get around
- You know you only have two dates with a girl to score before you have to start taking her to the same places again.
- Someone asks you where you’re from, and you answer, “Vancouver.”
- You tell someone you’re from Abbotsford and they ask, “Where?”
- Bowling is the highlight of your day.
- Your yard is the drainage center for all of Washington and Vancouver’s pollution.
- You know what the “big orange bubble” is
- You know how to spell and pronounce “Trethewey”
- You celebrated your 25th birthday and 6th wedding anniversary in the same year…. at Sneakers.
- You don’t need Playland, because you got the Agrifair.
- You’ve noticed your ‘water tower’ is really a cheese tower.
- You know what the ‘mechanical vacuum gorillas’ are.
- You know where to go for Karaoke 5 nights a week.
- You sit on a bench which is actually a paint palette, farm machinery or a creepy guy.
- You know that, despite what the sign says, the name of our club is Shitty Limits.
- You consider a gravel pit a decent place to meet up and hang out.
- You’re SO much better than those kids in Mission [Editors note: hey!]
- The flea-market is a must-go-to-event on Sunday… after everyone goes to church of course
- You have been part of the glory days partying up on Sandy Hill before there were houses there
- You think a pimped out 84 Honda Accord looks all right.
- You see ten people that you know walking two blocks to a convenience store
- You hate Chilliwack . I mean the Chillbillies.
- You develop asthma.
- Your city is both the murder capital and bible belt of Canada.
Note: It’s ok to be confused, many of the above will make no sense to anyone who hasn’t lived in/on/around Abby.