You Know You’re From Abbotsford If….

Passed on to me from my buddy Brian.

You might live in Abbotsford if…

  1. You aren’t sure whether marijuana is legal or not.
  2. You can swear in Punjabi, English and Mennonite (Darnit!)
  3. You’ve hunted mailboxes
  4. You see a gas station on every corner.
  5. You see a church on every corner.
  6. You see a grow-op on every corner.
  7. Five degrees is really cold and twenty is really hot.
  8. Rain is a part of daily life.
  9. You secretly have a firm stance on the great Blueberry Cannon Debate.
  10. You don’t get excited about Christmas lights anymore because people keep them up all year round.
  11. Your town’s automall is bigger than the actual mall.
  12. You don’t think seven hockey arenas is enough.
  13. Your town has had 2 mayors ever.
  14. Your current mayor is an octogenarian.
  15. You know when the Diwali festival is.
  16. You know when the Berry Festival is.
  17. You’ve grown accustomed to the smell of cow manure in the morning.
  18. Going to Vancouver is a long day trip.
  19. You use the Trans-Canada highway to get around
  20. You know you only have two dates with a girl to score before you have to start taking her to the same places again.
  21. Someone asks you where you’re from, and you answer, “Vancouver.”
  22. You tell someone you’re from Abbotsford and they ask, “Where?”
  23. Bowling is the highlight of your day.
  24. Your yard is the drainage center for all of Washington and Vancouver’s pollution.
  25. You know what the “big orange bubble” is
  26. You know how to spell and pronounce “Trethewey”
  27. You celebrated your 25th birthday and 6th wedding anniversary in the same year…. at Sneakers.
  28. You don’t need Playland, because you got the Agrifair.
  29. You’ve noticed your ‘water tower’ is really a cheese tower.
  30. You know what the ‘mechanical vacuum gorillas’ are.
  31. You know where to go for Karaoke 5 nights a week.
  32. You sit on a bench which is actually a paint palette, farm machinery or a creepy guy.
  33. You know that, despite what the sign says, the name of our club is Shitty Limits.
  34. You consider a gravel pit a decent place to meet up and hang out.
  35. You’re SO much better than those kids in Mission [Editors note: hey!]
  36. The flea-market is a must-go-to-event on Sunday… after everyone goes to church of course
  37. You have been part of the glory days partying up on Sandy Hill before there were houses there
  38. You think a pimped out 84 Honda Accord looks all right.
  39. You see ten people that you know walking two blocks to a convenience store
  40. You hate Chilliwack . I mean the Chillbillies.
  41. You develop asthma.
  42. Your city is both the murder capital and bible belt of Canada.

Note: It’s ok to be confused, many of the above will make no sense to anyone who hasn’t lived in/on/around Abby.