Dear Pizza Place

Dear Pizza place…
When you send people here to bring me a round pie of meaty goodness, please ask them not to sell me on their MLM pyramid schemes instead of taking their money, ample tip, and leaving me with a pizza to go with my beer and TV watching.

The conversation at the door went something like this (I answered the door while listening to a podcast):

  • Pizza Guy: Hey cool, that an iPod or something?
  • Me: [gives money] yea, my iPhone.
  • PG: Wow, cool, I’m jealous!
  • Me: Uh huh [please just give me my pizza so I can go]
  • PG: So what sort of work do you do?
  • Me: Computer stuff.
  • PG: Cool, you interested in making some money?
  • Me: [oh god, he wants me to program a website for his kids soccer team or something] Not really, see, I have a bunch of stuff on the go right now, I’m really not wanting to get into anything….
  • PG: No, I mean some real money.
  • Me: [oh oh, I’ve heard that before, I know what’s coming next] Ok, give me the 20 second pitch. [I’ll be open to new things, just give it to me fast]
  • PG: How about I just give you a card, go to this website and check it out. [pulls out a home printed card whose ink still smeared]
  • Me: Uh huh.
  • PG: [random mindless talk about how “it really works” and how “you have to check it out”]
  • Me: Uh huh. [if you’re rolling in dough why don’t you buy your own iPhone?]
  • PG: [more random mindless talk]
  • Me: Ok, I’ll check it out. [please please please let me go]
  • PG: Ok, have a great night.
  • Me: Uh huh. [Close door, lock door, go back to beer and TV]

Just for shits and giggles I did check out his site. It was at least a real URL (his name) but had only a picture of him, a link to a video and a link to a PDF. The video was completely content free (no shock there) and consisted entirely of people talking about how [company] was awesome, they were all driving Lexus’s and their golden showers actually involved gold. It ended without any indication of what the company did, or how these people were able to pull off these financial miracles.

Oh, and searching for information on the company had the second suggestion from google as postfixed by “scam”. I won’t give them any juice by even linking to it here.

The PDF file consisted of two pages, one was nothing but a guy standing in front of a Lexus with a inspirational saying, and a second page with more of the same “blah blah company is awesome blah blah amazing blah financial freedome blah blah”.


At least I got my pizza 🙂

One Comment on “Dear Pizza Place”

  1. The lesson here is simple. Don’t take financial advice from someone doing worse than you.
    Of course, for shits and giggles you should have asked him if he delivers pizza in a Lexus. lol