Miss USA

I wanted to watch the Miss USA Pageant, but I just couldn’t. I appreciate beautiful women as much as the next red blooded male out there, but after the first 10 minutes I just got up and came here to do something more interesting. The first few minutes of the show involved each contestant coming out and saying “<name here>, <age here>, <state here>, USA!”


I tried to amuse myself by playing “spot the fake boobs” while Firefly made predictions on who would get in the top ten. After the first commercial break they came back, introduced the hosts, a man and woman, the guy who had the last name of “Bush”, and informed us that the 51 52 contestants were going to be judged in three areas:


  • Swim wear
  • Evening wear
  • “The final question”

The show was dedicated to the men and women of the armed forces, though more the men I’m guessing. Of course, if they were really dedicated to the men of the armed forces, they should be showing some skin…. not swimsuits, I’m talking boobies here. Come on girls, do it for your country! If you don’t, the terrorists have already won….


Then, since we as the watching audience obviously had short term memory problems (hey, what do you think this is, the audience for Fox’s competition eating show?!), decided to introduce us to each of the contestants…. again. They got to Miss Alaska when I said “I’m sorry, I just can’t,” and left the room.


The fact that there are only three areas these hard working (cough) girls (though I have heard that being popular is hard work) are only judged on, and it’s a two hour show boggles the mind. Maybe they’ll just have everyone re-introduce themselves and have long “behind the scenes” stuff.


Firefly just came out and informed me that the top ten have already been chosen. No swim wear competition, no evening wear competitions, no questions with answers involving world peace (except for the obvious), just eliminate 42 states, <snap> like that. They basically say “here is a competition of fifty two states!”…. pause… “here’s the top ten!” I was going to give them some leeway for the two hour timeframe if they had go to through 52 women three times, but not ten.


What happened to Miss America? Why do we (they) have a Miss USA and a Miss America? Not enough makeup/anorexia recover clinic/plastic surgery advertising time with only one competition?

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